Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Last Seven Years (Part I) - Kyle & Lindsey

So, we've been married for so long that I don't have many digital pictures of just the two of us. The ones I do have, I am either pregnant or Kaylyn is already here--and of course in this picture too. Sorry...

The most apt description for our marriage is transformative. Serendipity in its greatest form. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut in your life, thinking you know who you are and remain content in this stagnation. When I started college--I was sure I knew what my life would look like ten years down the road. My self-identity was set in stone: I was the "runner" and the student--type-A, perfectionistic. My life's plan was simple--I would graduate, go to law school, be the 21st century "professional woman," wait to get married & have kids when my career was established--and of course be a professional runner the whole time. Well, Kyle was unlucky enough to have met me when parts of my life were slowly being chipped away--and of course, he was there to help pick up the pieces. In 2000, I had knee surgery which essentially brought my running career to a sharp halt. Of course, my life as I knew it was over. When you define yourself in such a unitary manner--it's not that difficult to reach a point like this. I had known Kyle for a year or two--I was attracted to him from the very first time I saw him. We dated on and off for awhile. So, after my knee surgery I took a semester off from school--and who helped move me out of my apartment--Kyle. I remember looking at him when we went out to eat that last night before I moved and thinking "Uh-oh, I think I really missed out on this one." He was the nice, responsible, funny, loving guy that everyone looks for.

Fast forward a few years--we got married on May 4, 2002 and lived in Cary, NC. I think sometimes you have to completely deconstruct yourself before you can build up a version that makes you happy. So, I took some years off from school trying to discover who I was without running, without any preconceived notion of what was expected of me. In the end, after a long-twisted path, I ended up in a place that was half-old and half-new. I'm not satisfied intellectually without having a career, but I want more than that, too. So, I decided to go back to law school, but have kids too--whatever doesn't fit in that equation isn't worthwhile and has fallen by the wayside. Life is a compromise.

So, Kyle & I are complete opposites--he is definitely the better half. Type-A/laid-back, chaotic/organized, serious/humorous. From the start, he has been my best friend, supportive of my search for meaning. He has taught me that there is another, more viable way to define yourself other than "what you do." It's about the lives you touch, being true to yourself. There is nothing more secure than being married to someone you can completely trust & rely on. We're lucky because we found our better halves. The "one" you get in your life. We're also lucky because of our two wonderful little girls--who have taught me sooo much more about life. But that's a whole other blog. : )


The Tylers said...

Well said...and aren't we better people because of the journeys put before us. Took me a while to get past the runner personna and I didn't have surgery-I just quit! But through it all I would not be where I am with out those choices-and I am SO glad I am where I am(sorry for the redundancy!). Hope you have a great weekend.

BriGaal said...

What a great, insightful post, Lindsey.