Well, today provided a chance for me to question--why do some women, like myself, try to "do it all"? I realize that there are some very good reasons to just throw your hands up and admit it's impossible. As happens at least once a week or so, I found myself saying--why don't I just stay home with the kids, instead of starting work with a law firm next year. The instigation for this thought today was simple. With a 2.5 year-old and 11 week-old I most certainly don't have any time during the week to study for school. So, we have a plan on the weekends that I spend a few hours in the morning at Starbucks up the street and a few hours in the afternoon studying. As I started to walk out the door Saturday, Kaylyn said "No, mommy, play with me," and today she ran after me holding her shoes to go with me. But, the more I delay getting any work done this semester, the more stressed I become--so, I had to head on out the door. [Kyle wants me to preface this next comment by saying that Kaylyn was very, very hungry & tired when I got home at lunch]. OK--so, that being said, I walked in the door and she screamed "Mommy's here!" My heart melted--she's happy to see me. Riley was asleep & they were going outside to play before lunch. Well, I walked out behind them, excited about some playtime. Next thing I knew, Kaylyn was in tears yelling "No...no mommy outside." Apparently--just daddy. After watching those huge tears streaming down her face, I didn't have it in me to force myself into her playtime--love her too much to make her cry. But, instead she admitted she was hungry--and after rubbing her ketchup on her face a few times--felt better. This afternoon we all went to get pumpkins near our house. She let me give her a big hug and all was well on the mommy front. Yes, mothers can't have it all--but they can have a few cherished hours of mommy-time outside with their daughters.
- LTR
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